Meghan Markle’s Mechanical Bull-Riding Days (feat. Joel McHale) – Lights Out with David Spade

Meghan Markle’s Mechanical Bull-Riding Days (feat. Joel McHale) – Lights Out with David Spade


Canada’s biggest newspaper says Prince Harry and Madge Markle aren’t welcome in Canada because it’s unconstitutional
for them to live there. In Canada’s defense,
it’s the first time anyone’s ever wanted
to go there on purpose. -COOPERMAN: Oh!
-What? No, it’s not. We love Canada. -It’s a big crowd…
-How dare you? -No, I love Canada. Uh…
-You do? -Yeah, I… Yeah.
-What’s your favorite city? Uh, Grand Forks. All right. So, listen,
to put this in perspective, they let
all the draft dodgers in, but this is where
they draw the line. -Not these two.
-BRANUM: Yeah. This is… This is the best thing
that’s ever happened to Canada. After this, they’re gonna have
two royals and one black person. (laughter) Canada doesn’t need
any more, like… They don’t need
out of work actresses. That’s what Los Angeles is for. If your grandmother
is on the money, -don’t you get a free everything
there? -BRANUM: Yes. It’s like, “This is my grandma.” -Oh, is she on the money
up there? -Yeah. It’s not a different queen.
Uh… (laughter) It’s RuPaul. -It’s not the queen of Canada.
-So it’s the same one? It’s the same one. They…
Yeah, they’re on there. Meghan Markle is smarter
than everyone. Like, everyone who becomes
famous moves out of Canada. Drake. Ryan Reynolds.
All of Sum 41. They leave. She’s the only one
going to Canada. She’s the only person left
in the room. -Now, that’s smart.
-Yeah. And it has worked out
for Sum 41, ’cause they are still
cranking out the hits. -SPADE: They are.
-They are talents. No, this is a…
I think it’s a trick. Here’s my angle, because
she wants to live in L.A., and they say,
“We’ll go to Canada,” but they know
they’re not allowed in Canada. So they go,
“We’re already over here. “We’ll just get an Airbnb
down in L.A. “And then I’ll go take
my old cold reading class. He can go to Disneyland
and be a prince.” -COOPERMAN: Yes.
-And then… Then they’re here. And it’s like,
“It’s not even our fault.” -McHALE: Yeah. -Smart.
-COOPERMAN: Right. That’s better
than everything I’ve heard. Okay, good. I offered them money to-to come to the show,
and I even said, “I’ll give you money
if you drive by and beep.” And then I heard beeps
yesterday, but this is who it was. -(laughter) -That’s…
I should still give her… -Oh, by the way… -That’s, uh,
Darth Vader with a mask, yes? I guess that’s the queen.
I’m putting it all together now. But by the way, we have… -Why is she wearing oven mitts?
-She’s wearing mittens? Is she working for… -Is she working for Lyft?
-SPADE: She does Uber. -No. You’re right, Lyft.
-Without heat? -She has thyroid issues, Guy,
okay? -SPADE: We… Yeah, Guy. She’s sensitive
to body temperature. We have a royal insider, guys, and that’s our new correspondent and friend of the show,
Chris Franjola. Chris? -(cheering and applause)
-Hello. -Hello, everyone.
-Chris, thanks for listening to all of our shit.
So, how’s it going? Where are you right now? Uh, I’m at a Hilton Garden Inn
in Des Moines, Iowa. SPADE:
Okay. Road gig. It’s going great! -So, Chris…
-Congrats! You’re kind of a regular guy. I’m surprised
you’re into this stuff. What makes you think
you’re qualified to talk about the royals? Well, I used to work
at a restaurant -with Meghan Markle 17 years ago
on Sunset Boulevard. -No! -Yeah!
-So we’re pretty good friends. -Oh, my God.
-Yeah, almost two years. I folded napkins with her, so I feel like
we’re pretty tight. Hey, listen, that’s all we need. So, uh, that was the Mirabelle
on Sunset, which is… Mirabelle on Sunset, yeah. We went up to Saddle Ranch
one night, rode the bull. So I know what she likes. (laughs):
I love it. -Rode the mechanical bull.
-She… -That’s the re…
-She got on the bull? That’s one of the reasons
she left, I think, is ’cause she wants
to wear jeans again. You know, like,
a boyfriend jean rolled up. A nice, white cotton shirt. Not wool leggings
and feathered hats. I don’t think
that’s what she wants. She’s a Saddle Ranch gal? -Yeah, she’s a Saddle Ranch gal.
-SPADE: That’s hilarious. Did she… Did she actually ride
the mechanical bull? -Uh, she did. Yeah, she got on
the mechanical bull once. -Wow. Yeah, it was pretty fun. David,
I don’t know if you noticed. They made me cover the artwork
in the back here. -(laughter)
-SPADE: Yeah. 3-With a (bleep) towel. -Don’t
want to have any legal issues. -Yeah, took me all day
to get that on there. -Well… -But it’s fine.
-Um, can I ask him…? Yeah. Oh, he has
one more question for you. Chris, uh, it’s Guy.
I have a question. -You’re in Iowa right now.
-Go ahead. Are you canvassing
for Buttigieg? (laughs)
Yes, that’s right. I canvased that painting,
then I canvassed for Buttigieg. (laughter) I like those. They give you
a towel. That’s great. -All right, buddy, thank you.
-Yeah. And we’re gonna hit you
all the time for this. Yeah, Meghan and I will see you -over at the Soho House later,
David. -Okay, thank you.

93 Comments

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *