I bleached my hair

I bleached my hair


Okay, just hear me out on this one, I think it’s no secret that I’ve always had my qualms with my hair It was boring and brown. I was always doing whatever I could to change it.(bitch wat????) I kept it in a bun because it was more of a liability than anything else. I was never happy.(accurate enough) It was time for a change and what better time than now after high school has ended and right before I’m about to enter into university to completely mess up my hair and do whatever I wish to it. And besides, I want to look like Madonna.. like ReALLy BaDLy. I’ve said this once and I’ll say it again: the “Papa Don’t Preach” music video look was and forever will be iconic, so naturally I want to look like her. 𝓗𝓮𝓵𝓵𝓸
𝓶𝔂 𝓭𝓾𝓭𝓮𝓼. My name is 𝓙𝓸𝓱𝓷 𝓒𝓮𝓷𝓪. I am 18 years old. I am a two-time “Hairdressers React” offender and I’m here to make that three 🤡 So today, as you’ve probably read from the title, I am going to be dyeing my hair blonde🤠 To be fair I’ve been preparing for this for a very long time. I want to make this look good. I mean, I WOULD get this professionally done, but where’s the fun in that? I’ve been reading articles about how to do this correctly I’ve been shampooing and conditioning every single day. I’ve been using hair masks. What the 𝓱𝓮𝓬𝓴
is a hair mask? How is your hair supposed to wear a mask? I don’t know. So the plan you may be wondering: I have virgin brown hair *insert shocked pikachu meme here* Woah there! So I’m gonna take things slowly because I don’t really know how my hair is gonna respond to the bleach. I bought this hair lightening kit. We’re gonna see if it works. If it doesn’t? Oh no. And then if it’s not light enough, we’re gonna go as blond as possible, just for your information. I’m going to give my hair a day of rest, and then we’ll keep going with this process on Monday. And then if it still doesn’t look right we’re going to take the magic eraser and pretend like it never even happened. So without further ado, my dudes, let’s get bleaching (and so the chaos begins) *panicking noises* So let’s catch up while I’m doing this. I took a bit of a break from social media this past week and not gonna lie it was very therapeutic. Oh my god, that’s 𝖇𝖆𝖉. How is it that in only like two seconds into this and I’ve already messed up. I think it’s worth mentioning I just took a passport photo with my brown hair So does that mean I will have to cross out my hair on my passport? We have the 𝕔𝕠𝕟𝕔𝕠𝕔𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕟 𝕗𝕣𝕠𝕞 𝕙𝕖𝕝𝕝. Let’s get painting my dudes. Off come the glasses. I don’t like this. I really should have put on some goggles or something before this to like protect the 𝓹𝓮𝓮𝓹𝓮𝓻𝓼. Don’t forget the sideburns, my dudes! Just shaving my head is looking more and more appetizing, 𝐢𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐈 𝐦𝐞𝐚𝐧. To be frank with you, I don’t think the reality of what I’m doing has really set in yet. I just got bleach on my microphone. Something’s burning! I’m gonna be blonde after this… Oh god. Oh that’s fast! Someone’s eager, that’s for sure! I will be damned if this does not look good. I am putting the absolute most effort into this. It is mammoth-thillian. Mammoth-thillian (how do I even properly sub that) Now, you’re probably wondering. “𝕵𝖔𝖆𝖓𝖓𝖆. 𝕬𝖗𝖊 𝖞𝖔𝖚 𝖌𝖔𝖎𝖓𝖌 𝖙𝖔 𝖇𝖑𝖊𝖆𝖈𝖍 𝖞𝖔𝖚𝖗 𝖊𝖞𝖊𝖇𝖗𝖔𝖜𝖘?” (Mother Goose) NO! It’s part of the look. Okay, it’s extravagant. It’s classy. Yes. Yes. This is it. We’re doing it. *unintelligible screaming* I t ‘ s B U R N I N G! Okay, I think it’s time that I call in Mother Goose to get the back end. ‘Cause there’s only so much you can do when you’re not an octopus. 𝐌𝐎𝐌 Everybody say “hi” to 𝕸𝖔𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖗 𝕲𝖔𝖔𝖘𝖊. (𝕸𝖔𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖗 𝕲𝖔𝖔𝖘𝖊) Hi. You just have to paint it on my hair. Yeah, do you want gloves? You should probably have my gloves. If you’re wondering yes, it did take a lot of convincing work on my part to convince my mother to be okay with this, umm (Mother Goose) I’m not okay! (John Cena) We’re not gonna talk about it. I pulled out the graphs. I drew the diagrams, you know. I’m gonna look like Madonna and she’s gonna be okay with it, right mom? Only I would do this. I agree. I agree. Oh, she’s really going for it. Look at that. Of course it’s toxic! What the heck? “You should have known by now, I’m not a baby! OOOOooooooOOOOO Papa, don’t PREACH I’ve been losing” *unintelligible noises* Can’t see anything, so I have to squint so hard. All I need is the red lipstick and then I’ll really look like Madonna. *Mother Goose expresses disapproval* W H A T ? I’m gonna let it marinate for a while, you know Get the chicken ready, and then I’ll come back later. And hopefully I’ll be a blonde goddess. I’ll see you guys in a bit. *10/10 5 star apple ASMR by John Cena* W H A T ? *demolishes the door* Hello my dudes. So I am BLONDE, that’s for sure. So I’m gonna wash this out and then we’ll evaluate what the heck we’ve done today. One thing is for sure it is VERY HOT in here. I don’t know if it’s the chemical reactions going on, the exothermic processes… 🅃🄷🄰🅃’🅂 🄿🅁🄾🄱🄰🄱🄻🅈 🅅🄴🅁🅈 🅆🅁🄾🄽🄶 *sounds of water and unintelligible screaming of a wild animal* I just inhaled soap! Okay, so here’s the dealio. As I had predicted, the ends they’re still here and I have to get rid of them. So I’m gonna take 𝓪 𝓭𝓪𝔂 𝓸𝓯 𝓻𝓮𝓼𝓽 for my hair, if you know what I mean? I don’t want to just bombard it with bleach and have it all fall off. On Monday we’ll come back, do something about these ends, and then maybe tone it. It’s looking a little bit yellow. The box told me to wait 14 days after I bleach it to tone it. But, 𝕖𝕩𝕔𝕦𝕤𝕖 𝕪𝕠𝕦. Do I look like Madonna yet? I don’t. But we’ll get there! We’ll get there. 𝔊𝔬𝔬𝔡 𝔪𝔬𝔯𝔫𝔦𝔫𝔤, 𝔪𝔶 𝔡𝔲𝔡𝔢𝔰, it’s me and I’m blonde. How are we doing? So today I’m gonna keep going with this adventure. I’m going over to “Shoppers’ Drug Mart” right now to buy the rest of the bleach. The camera is fogging up because it’s so hot. How does that even happen? I woke up this morning to the news that 🄹🄰🄺🄴 🄿🄰🅄🄻 and 🅃🄰🄽🄰 🄼🄾🄽🄶🄾🄾🅂🄴 got married. And it almost made me want to fall back asleep, but then I remembered that I have a mess on my head to take care of, so it’s best that I do wake up. I mean, let’s not kid ourselves here. It is for publicity, so I guess the very fact that I’m talking about it kind of did the damn thing, but that’s a conversation for another time. We’ve reached the 𝓶𝓸𝓽𝓱𝓮𝓻 𝓵𝓸𝓪𝓭. This has to be the most terrifying thing in all of human history. What the heck is happening here, honestly. Hello my dudes. So we’re back in my bathroom where arguably nothing good ever happens and we’re gonna finish this blonde mission. A quick “Shoppers’ Drug Mart” haul. So I bought the same “Flash Lightning” kit that I used last time, and then I also bought this toner. Yeah, so the plan for today: I’m first going to bleach the ends with THIS. And then, I’ll go over and tone my whole head. You know what? Let’s just get into this. We have a lot of things to do today. Yesterday was a pretty strange day because I actually went about my day with this exact hair. My mom and I, we went to Ikea to get a new bookcase for my room and umm *nervous chuckle* There were some very passive-aggressive stares in my direction. Some 🅰🅽🅶🆁🆈 mothers definitely looked at me, but you know what? 𝐼 𝓁𝑜𝑜𝓀 𝒻𝒶𝒷𝓊𝓁𝑜𝓊𝓈 *gags* I think it’s also worth mentioning that we’re getting to the point where I really have to take calculated moves here. Oh my god, it smells awful! That *gags once again* But yeah, we’re getting to the point here where if I make a wrong move, probably the only solution will be to go to the hairdresser and I want to avoid that at 𝖆𝖑𝖑 𝖈𝖔𝖘𝖙𝖘 because they’re gonna have a lot of questions and some questions that I won’t even be able to answer. That is just another scent. 𝕎𝕆𝕎. [It’s] like a skunk. But on acid. Should we use aluminum foil? I think we should use aluminum foil and be like the cool kids, you know? I mean I should have been using aluminum foil this entire time because the CIA does look at your thoughts, so… Guys I’m doing a thing! Look at me go! I’m really sorry if this is not what you wanted to see. And I’m really sorry if you do hate this hairstyle because I didn’t ask anyone on Twitter I didn’t let anybody know, so you’re probably watching this, and you might be having a heart attack. All I want to say is: 𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐝𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐬𝐮𝐞 𝐦𝐞. *foil drops and a scream of agony* We are going to go PLATINUM BLONDE. Speaking of platinum: my new album self-titled “I bleached my hair” is gonna hit the ground running. It’s gonna definitely top the charts. Billboard Hot 100? More like Billboard Hot 1 because it’s just going to be MY album. And then you just 𝙨𝙖𝙣𝙙𝙬𝙞𝙘𝙝 it. Yesterday, I was also thinking: what’s gonna happen when my roots start to grow in (you transform into Guy Fieri, that’s what happens). I’m gonna be frank with you, I don’t want to have to do this every month! Like, that’s gonna be a hassle and a half. Hi. So I had to call in 𝕸𝖔𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖗 𝕲𝖔𝖔𝖘𝖊 once again to do the whole back end situation. We ended up back to just bleaching the whole thing again. I’m gonna wait for this to do its thing. And then we’ll see if I have to tone it. We’ll cross that bridge when we get there. I’ll see you guys in a bit. Hello my dudes. I’ve been spending the time painting my nails using none other than *fangirl screaming* IT’S HERE! Cristine was actually nice enough to send me one of these and I just want to say thank you so much. As a fellow nail polish addict I can officially say that it is definitely worth your money. You can tell that so much thought went into this. But anyway, it’s amazing is all I have to say. But yeah, the hair… It’s definitely very white, which is good. It’s what we’re going for. We’re going platinum. ᑭᒪᗩTIᑎᑌᗰ, I said! *a wild bleached duckling appears* Hi. What’s up? Did you hear that𝐈’𝐦 𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐝𝐞? Yeah, 𝐈’𝐦 𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐝𝐞. But by the way, did you hear that 𝐈’𝐦 𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐝𝐞? You know the other day, I mean 𝐈’𝐦 𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐝𝐞. Did you know that? You know what time it is? 𝐈’𝐦 𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐝𝐞. So I just got out of the shower. This is what it looks like. I look like a bad mutation of the disease Logan Paul (Maverick4life) Once again, I did not experience any breakage. So are you proud of me Brad Mondo? I hope you are! Now the color. It’s definitely pretty platinum. We’re also gonna have to tone it because it is quite yellow in some places. So I’m just gonna let this dry and then I’ll check in with you guys again. *distant screaming of a ravenous being* *continuous chaos* 𝐈’𝐦 𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐝𝐞! (Hi, Blonde! My name’s Pitbull) This is dangerous! I should not be allowed near these bleaching things! So it’s been about an hour now. I ate lunch. I am absolutely absolutely enthralled with this colour. Does it look right? No, especially with these eyebrows like there’s- something’s not right up here So now what I’m going to do is: I’m gonna give my hair a bit of a break before I tone it once again. So I’m gonna go out run some errands and then when we come back home I’ll tone it. We’re still very yellow and I want to be more white (questionable choice of vocabulary…) *rethinks what she just said* I didn’t mean to be racist there. Please, America, I’m sorry. Let’s go on an adventure. 𝘽𝙡𝙤𝙣𝙙𝙚. ᖴᗩIᖇ. Flaxen, peroxide. All words used to describe something that I am NOT naturally. This is a catfish, just like facetune. Actually, whoever it was that created facetune must be really rich because James Charles is definitely paying all their bills for them. Now isn’t that something that would just look amazing on a gravestone? Back to the hair situation. Hair truly is something that seems seems incredibly frivolous yet strangely necessary. Actually, what the heck is the need for hair again? Some big brained geniuses, and by that I mean Google say that the follicles on our head are used to trap in heat but on other places of the body, it’s heavily debated. That’s right. Ladies. You best start waxing your va- Wouldn’t it be nice if we had insurance for our hair? I feel like I would be a prime candidate for such a service. I mean, if the government could give me a new scalp of hair every time I did something stupid to my head, I would be the first to sign up for that. It’s like hair insurance from a haircare, medicare, health care, or I don’t care provider.Speaking of health care, What are everyone’s thoughts on zebras? (Equus quagga) What a strange animal! (stop bullying the zebras) It looks like it couldn’t decide whether it wanted to be a horse, a donkey, or a tiger. And no one ever obsesses over them either, like it’s the forgotten animal. You don’t care about zebra girls in middle school (furries?) So in conclusion everybody, I don’t think we give enough attention to zebras. ZeBRAHS? ZeBRAYS? ZUH-BREASES? Yeah, that’s it. You know what enough of this chitchat. Let’s cut right to the chase. My hair looks ridiculous in these clips. It’s almost lemon yellow, but therein lies the catch. One thing I’ve realized throughout this whole ordeal is that honestly, you could have any hair color, good or bad, but in order to rock it, you just have to walk with a certain confidence. Prince. How was he able to pull off those extremely effeminate outfits yet still look good? The answer is as the cool kids call it swagger. Hillary Swag. ᴀʀɴᴏʟᴅ ꜱᴡᴀɢɴᴇɢɢᴇʀ. 𝕄𝕚𝕔𝕙𝕒𝕖𝕝 𝕊𝕨𝕒𝕘𝕤𝕖𝕟. Earth, Wind, Fire, and ⓢⓦⓐⓖ, the fourth Airbender. Okay, I need to shut up. Actually one more: Fleetwood ʂɯαɠ. Okay, I’m done! That’s it! Oh, hey look. I’m in the washroom again. It was time for me to tone my hair and go full platinum. Here’s what I did: I decided to return that blonde kit that I got that morning in exchange it for this one because that one was called “very blonde”. But this one, this one was called “𝐄𝐗𝐓𝐑𝐄𝐌𝐄 𝐁𝐋𝐎𝐍𝐃𝐄”. I mean I’ll fall for it. Why the heck not? However, these kits actually come with bleach and toner in them, and I wasn’t about to fry my hair for a third time that day and certainly enter ramen noodle territory. So I tossed the bleach paraphernalia and kept only the toner. I can feel Brad Mondo cringing through the screen right now. But that’s what I decided on and that’s what I did. So I got my hair all nice and wet and applied a big fat purple poop pile to my hair. Now to be frank with you, I’m not really sure what the purpose of this is or how it works at all, all I know is that Guy Tang talks a lot about toner, so I should probably use it too. But I massaged it in and let it sit for 5 minutes.No more or no less though because the L’Oreal Paris gods will get mad at you and materialize out of thin air to zap your butt back to the Stone Age. That being said, did I leave it in for more than 5 minutes? We won’t talk about that. Now this is where things get a little bit foggy. Did the toner work? Honestly, I can’t tell. Was my hair a little bit less yellow? I think so. I mean depending which way the light hit my hair, it wasn’t looking like yellow piss, so I think it really did do the damn thing. I’m not sure. Regardless, it was already 12 a.m at this point and this whole operation had exhausted itself already. My hair was good enough. Was it the best ever? No. Was it Daenerys Targaryen blonde? No, but let’s just say that we definitely got the message across. No, we’re not in that ballpark, but we’re certainly in SOME ballpark, that’s for sure. I look like some sick mutated Gwen Stefani impersonator. Actually, that’s an insult to Gwen Stefani, I’m sorry. I guess what I’m trying to say is: do I regret this? No, I love it. It was extremely fun, however, I may or not have booked a hairdresser appointment for tomorrow to fix the yellow tones, okay? But a little update: as of me editing this video the yellowness has subsided quite a bit and the toner kind of did do its job so we can sleep easy for now. Anyways, my dudes I hope you guys enjoyed watching this video and I hope you aren’t too disappointed with the death of my brown hair. Thanks, once again for your support on the trinket box launch, your approval means the world to me and I hope the sun is shining where you’re watching this. I love you guys too much to handle and I’ll see you all in the next one. 𝚃𝙾𝙾𝙳𝙻𝙴𝚂!

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